Sperm in KY, Egg in FL

MapQuest puts the distance between Spousal Unit (at work) and me (at my parents' house) at 1,012.69 miles at the exact moment of ovulation today.

I spent the better part of my teens sneaking out of my parents' house to have sex and trying like hell not to get pregnant. Now fate is biting me in the ass. I am trying to get pregnant in my parents' house WITHOUT having sex.

I was so depressed at the end of last cycle that I was willing to do anything - ANYTHING - to make this next cycle a little easier to bear during the 2WW. I was so desperate that I thought it would be a GREAT idea to go visit my parents for 8 days. (Further proof that TTC makes you insane.) I was in a pre-menstrual haze when I bought my plane tickets and planned my trip. I was supposed to ovulate a good week before I left, which would mean that I would be in sunny Florida during the last week of my cycle - relaxing in the sun and letting my Mom deal with me when I got my period, thereby giving Spousal Unit a break from THAT ordeal.

Apparently my ovaries did not receive the itinerary I emailed them.

Most of my signs pointed toward a fairly regular ovulation when I expected it, even though my Fertility Monitor didn't detect it. I figured it was wrong. We had a good-bye quickie Thursday morning, and annoyed, I packed my FM just because I would have to reset it when/if my next cycle started. I kept peeing on the FM sticks every morning just because it gets out of whack if you stop using it without getting a peak reading.

Well...

This morning I was absolutely in tears when FF took away my ovulation date because my temps were so erratic. (Mad props to my Mom for not only comforting me but also listening - in probably more graphic detail than she would have preferred - to my TTC frustration rant.) But I am nothing if not resilient, so a few hours later, I had bucked up like the good little camper I am and was planning out how to ride out the rest of this obviously anovulatory cycle and ramp up for the next one.

And then I POASed. It was a peak.

THREE DAYS AFTER WE DID IT.

And THEN...

I ovulated at 1:05 this afternoon while discussing digital cameras with my mother and father in my father's den. HOLY CRAP did it hurt! It was a rightie, for sure, and it took about 5 minutes for the egg to pop. I could hardly breathe. My Mom figured out what was happening but I had no idea what to tell my Dad. I was absolutely mortified. He kept asking me why I was grabbing my belly but I had no idea what to say. Finally Mom said "it's girl stuff" and he stopped asking.

The cutoff for the little guys to keep swimming is supposed to be up to 5 days in an ideal environment (which I doubt I have) for strong little men (which I doubt he has). The chance of conceiving is so slim that I'd be stupid to think it could work. BUT there is still a chance, which means I have to be a well-behaved TTCer. No double espressos with sushi before riding rollercoasters.